It would appear that The Man is trying to bring down this great bastion of free speech and internet tomfoolery – I’ve been censored by Orange!
All I have to say to them is this:
____ you, you bunch of _______ ____tards. I’m going to ____ on your mother’s ____ and _____ my ____ into your collective _____ until you stop _______ with me. You heard me – I’ll ________ ____ ____-____ monkey holes and ___ your ________ ____ _ ___ __ vomit ___ _____ ___ ____ Sunny Delight. OK?
Some evenings in the pub lead to carnage. You know the ones I mean – they start off with “just a couple of beers” and end up with Jaeger Bombs, Flat Spaniels, Lychee Martinis, projectile vomit and frisky encounters with ugly girls in the less than salubrious location of the toilet cubicle. Other evenings in the pub lead to moments of genius that will stay with you for the rest of your life: friendships are formed, world poverty is eliminated and Appletinis are consumed.
Last night, quite frankly, didn’t really fall into either category, although it did have a couple of sparks to brighten the evening following the 90 minutes of boredom that was Chelsea-Liverpool. Following on from our usual high class debate (“I can’t believe they’ve made a new Turtles film”, “who’s that pissed old guy who keeps asking for directions to the toilet?”, “are there any of your friends whose mother and/or sister you’d like to shag just so that it would piss your friend off?”) we got talking about how great it would be if someone made a Thundercats movie (yes I know – the linked page looks like it was made around the same time Thundercats was) and who we would have starring in it.
So without further ado, here’s my proposed all-star cast list:
I appreciate that this cast list is likely to be controversial but fuck you – this is my blog, not yours.
Having just read about the restaurant-penis-removal-trauma story that Scott noticed earlier, I took it upon myself to see what other newsworthy silliness had appeared on Fark today and came across this gem. Yes, you read that right: “Pregnant cow runs amok across German city”. Now I can barely imagine the carnage involved, but I’m guessing it would look something like this:
I’m sure you’ll agree it’s pretty frightening stuff. Take care.
I like penguins. They’re cute, fluffy and sometimes just downright odd looking. So it was with some distress that I noticed this opinion piece on The Register suggesting that Google is betraying its “Do No Evil” motto and killing penguins by contributing to climate change due to the massive energy consumption required by their various data centres.
Now I’m not 100% convinced by the “humans are causing global warming” side of the debate (which is not to say that humans aren’t having a severely detrimental effect on air quality, water purity and so on through massive pollution, but that’s a slightly different problem which gets wrongly overshadowed by the politics of climate change) but the article did get me thinking about how much it pisses me off when companies jump on the green bandwagon in order to score a few cheap PR points.
The (RED) campaign is probably a case in point here. The campaign is intended to provide a way for consumers to make contributions to the Global Fund simply by performing their duty as good little consumers. Companies such as Gap and Apple have produced exclusive (RED) branded products with contributions made towards the fund for each item sold. “Great!” you might think, “It’s nice to see these companies trying to alleviate poverty and suffering in the third world”. Of course, the truth is a little blurrier: couldn’t Gap simply pay more for its materials so that its clothing isn’t manufactured in sweat shops? Wouldn’t Apple be more helpful if it were to reduce the volume of toxic chemicals that its manufacturing processes create?
Ad Age claimed earlier this year that the advertising costs for the launch of (RED) were somewhere around the $100 million mark. (RED) disputed the claims and suggested that it was less than a third of the figure cited by Ad Age. If we take those claims as read (no pun intended), that still leaves a figure of around $30 million. Would this money have been better spent if they’d simply donated it to charity instead?
I should point out that I did buy into the concept and actually have one of the red American Express cards. That said, I think that the charity credit card concept is a good one. I have no need for any potential cashback and if it’s something that I would have to put on a credit card anyway (flights or hotel costs for work for example) then I think that it’s a good way of making a small difference. Maybe I could use it to pay for penguin adoption and do two good turns with a single act…
I was up at my friends Audrey and Simon’s for my tea last night and as a result I have a new celebrity crush. Audrey cooked a rather fantastic dish using peas, tomatoes and paneer – a classier, Indian interpretation of cheesy peas if you will. The recipe was taken from a book by Vicky Bhogal, who has not only come up with lots of really tasty recipes like the cheesy peas but is also really hot to boot.
Maybe I should write a fan letter? I could send her one of my fingers as a token of my love or something. I don’t think I really need all ten anyway.
This may be the dumbest thing I’ve ever written down so bear with me here folks…
Over the last few years, it’s become increasingly apparent to me that the current set of base and derived SI units for time aren’t suitable for practical, everyday use. Everyone measures time in alcoholic terms: “We’ve got time for another pint”, “I’ll meet you for a couple of drinks” and so on. This has led me to believe that the base unit for time should actually be “the beer”. Simple.
Following on from that train of thought, as I arrived at work this morning and switched my iPod off, it dawned on me that I live exactly a Whole Lotta Rosie away from the office! This got me thinking that it’s fairly sensible and downright obvious to measure distances in terms of music. The offshoot of this of course is that speed is now measured in tracks per beer, or TPB for short. One thing I haven’t quite worked out is where jukeboxes fit in all of this…
I went to see Sunshine last night. Everyone I’ve spoken to about it has been pretty mixed in their views and I can see why.
Pros:
Cons:
Overall, I left the cinema a bit disappointed. I’ve seen far worse films but Sunshine had set itself a higher standard which is ultimately failed to live up to. On my newly created marking scale, I’d give it 3 random bits of paper lying around my desk out of 5.
I’ve been getting increasingly pissed off with Mail.app on the Mac recently for a few reasons (it frequently flags mail on my IMAP account as unread even though I’ve already read it for example) but I’ve stuck with it mainly because of the searching capabilities and the fact that it integrates so nicely with the Address Book application, which I sync with my phone(s).
I’d like to give Thunderbird on OS X a shot, but the lack of Address Book integration in the official builds is a big turn off. Fortunately, I’ve just discovered this chap, who has provided some unofficial builds of the 3.0 alpha with the Address Book patch applied! Huzzah!
I’ve just finished downloading his latest build just now so I’ll report back with my findings!
The Holyrood elections will be taking place in a couple of weeks and I’ve been pondering how I’m going to vote this time round. Last time, I think I voted for the Lib Dems in the first-past-the-post ballot and the Greens on the regional ballot. The Lib Dems got my vote because of their successful abolition of tuition fees for Scottish students, something which affected me in my time at uni (anyone who started uni in 1998 probably found themselves in a similar situation, where we got bounced between having to pay fees for a couple of years and then had them payed for us for the last couple of years).
This time, I’ve decided that my main vote is going to someone else. I’m sure anyone familiar with the political scene in Scotland will probably appreciate my reasons for this decision. Simply put, I’ve become seriously disillusioned with the ruling Lib-Lab coalition. Jack McConnell is too much of a wet blanket to go against anything that Westminster Labour say or do and as such finds himself meekly towing the line on Iraq, a nuclear deterrent to replace Trident and various other issues. So I’m not voting Lib Dem because I don’t want Labour in power (obviously).
The question is, who are the alternatives?
I like the Greens; they have several of the same principles that I have (more so regarding technology than other parties – against software patents, against DRM). Of course, it’s easy for them because their policy ideas can be a bit more powderpuff since they’re never likely to be able to implement them under the current electoral system. However, I will probably be voting for them on the regional ballot, where the vote is less likely to be wasted.
The Tories are right out. I’m pretty certain that DC is a snake oil merchant of the highest order. The only Tory I’d consider voting for is Boris Johnson. Not because he’s a bumbling buffoon with a propensity to generate moments of accidental comedy gold, but because I genuinely think that he’s in politics for the debate rather than the perks. He speaks his mind and I thoroughly respect that.
So that leaves me with one credible alternative, the SNP. Now here’s a tricky situation if ever there was one. I’ll come and say it right now so that it’s clear and unambiguous: I’m 100% against Scottish independence. There, I’ve said it. I think Scotland gains more from the Union than it loses (don’t have a link, but I’m pretty certain that NHS spending per head is significantly greater in Scotland than England for example). The problem is, there is no other alternative to a Lib-Lab government in Holyrood. Alex Salmond is a fantastic orator, which is something that I do actually look for in a potential leader. Of course, the proof is in the pudding, but being able to inspire people with your words is not something to be overlooked. Any SNP government is likely to be a coalition with one or more of the other parties but the Nats have already indicated that accepting a referendum on independence will be central to any coalition deal they make. There’s been talk of holding such a referendum in 2010 (presumably because recent polls suggest that the majority of Scots are against independence at present). An interesting article by Peter Preston in the Guardian today argues that parties entering into any coalition deal should call the SNP’s bluff and insist on an immediate referendum instead. He has a point; at least that way the independence issue could be quickly resolved one way or the other and allow a prospective SNP-led government to show how it plans to implement its other policies.
Update (26 April 07): Robin made some interesting points regarding NHS funding which I thought were worth adding to the post:
“First of all, the NHS. While it is true that more is spent per head in Scotland than England, this is a meaningless statistic. The Scottish Minister’s are given a budget by the Chancellor which they can use as they see fit. I think this is about £23 billion for this year, more than £10 billion of which is going to health (entirely at the discreation of the Scottish Ministers). So no one is sitting there saying “let’s spend more per head on Scotland’s health services than England’s”.
Another uninteresting point to make on this is that spend per head is not an accurate way to look at how the money is spent. For example, it is far more financially effective to treat a large group of people in packed urban areas than a small group spread over a large area – ie the Highlands and Islands.”
The long and short of it is I still don’t know how I’m going to vote on May 3rd. I guess that it’s a fact of life that you have to make trade-offs in your political beliefs whenever you go to the polls, since it’s very rare for a single party to fit all of the criteria you lay out for yourself. I’ll probably make my mind up when I’m in the polling station. One thing’s for sure though, my vote isn’t going to this comedy bunch:
No, not Guy. I’m talking about Panda Bear, one third of Animal Collective (a group who, up until now, I’ve never listened to in my life). I got a copy of his new album, Person Pitch, last week from one of the guys at work and if it’s not in contention for album of the year I’ll be very surprised.
It doesn’t do anything particularly new or different, but what it does do it does exceptionally well. Layers of vocals, building crescendos of acoustic guitar loops with bits of dub thrown in for good measure in a couple of places. Utter bliss.
It makes me a happy panda.
|
Last.fm Recent Tracks
